this is so sad!!!




Mommy
I am only 4 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.



Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to s.u.ck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my homethough.
It is so nice and warm in here.





Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.




Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.




Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?




Month Six


I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!



Month Seven


Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?



Every Abortion Is Just . . .



One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

The last four months

I know I haven't been on here in forever, but that's life, plus I got hooked on facebook. Anyway, you might ask what has been going on in my life lately. In May Helen had her 1st birthday. It was a lot if fun. We had just family and a couple of close friends, and just dinner and cake. She was very cranky during it!!! Still in May I helped out long time friends with there cattle drive, and that was tons of fun. I hadn't ridden in a long time. The weekend after that Justin and I went to a Dave Stamey concert in Burns. We meet up with friends, and had a really fun "date" night.
In June nothing really happened, but it seemed that we were busy. Uh?????
In July we went to Albany for Justin's side of the family's big 4th of July get together. Justin Dad was here for a week, so we got to spend time with him, and he got to see Helen. The day after we got back Justin started his new job, marking trees for the forest service. Week after that we went to a really fun trap shoot at a neighbor's ranch. Hung out with friends and drank beer. The week after that I helped out with friend's branding. That was fun for me, Justin had to work. Then I did a week of VBS at our church, and that was a lot of work, but worth it.
Okay for August... I threw a baby shower, for a friend of mine. The next weekend we went to Albany to visit Justin's family. We got home and then two days later fair started. Justin had to work all fair week. I got to watch the kids I use to babysit show their pigs and they did GREAT!!!!!!!!! It was really neat to watch. The weekend of fair, I carried flags for the rodeo, and because I'm a past fair queen got to ride in the parade (well half way, the horse I was on threw a fit!!!) and Saturday night I carried flags again. Sunday morning Helen had her 1st rodeo. She did great for being the youngest kid there. I'm so proud of her!!!!
So that's what has been happening. There is a opening in range, and we're hoping that Justin gets to put in for it. What he would be doing is being a government cowboy. It would be riding fences, checking cows, and all that stuff. He really wants to get on with range. So we're praying for that!!! Now just have to see what happens.

What's next????

Justin and I went away this weekend with no baby, that was nice. We went to visit one of his friend over in LaGrande to see about a job. It would be a summer job, where he would live over there during the week and come home on the weekends. Before we left a friend of ours called him about a fedex job that would be here, and would be great pay, benefits, weekends off, and all the stuff we want. Or there's a forest service job. So what comes next??? We're praying for the fedex job, and he's at the top of the list unless someone wants to move to John Day. I know that God knows the job He wants for us, and will make it clear.

It's stuck

I can't get all the things of the right to life conference out of my head. I'll start crying knowing that hundreds of babies die everyday just because they aren't wanted. I wish that I could have a chance to raise them instead of having them killed. I know that God has given me this passion and has put it on my heart, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I just can't stop thinking about it.

A Right to Life

Justin and I went to a Right to Life conference over in Portland this weekend. It was heart-breaking to say the least. There was so much to take in. There are a few things that I want to share, but I'm not sure how to begin. I'll start with this thought. In Genesis 4:10 it says " Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground" If just one killing cries out to God like that, what does the million of aborted babies sound like to Him. There was a story about a lady who was 22weeks along and went in to have an abortion. Planed Parenthood induced her labor and sent her into the bathroom to have her baby. The women gave birth to her little boy in the toilet. The only thing was that he was still alive. She started screaming for help and the Planed Parenthood people told her to just flush it. This women had her cell phone and called her friend who had brought her and told her to call 911. The friend did, and EMTs showed up at Planed Parenthood, and the EMTs were told that no baby had been born alive, and were turned away. This women's child died in her arms while she sang to him, and pleaded with him not to die. There's a movie called 22 weeks that tells this story.
There was a stuend there, who would go into Planed Parenthood posing as a 13 year girl who wanted a abortion. When the People at Planed Parenthood were geting her info, the "13 year old" would tell them that the father was 31 years old, and Planed Partenhood did nothing! Not olny are the killing babies, but they are coving up sexual abuse, witch is agest the law! Also if a person calls Planed Parenthood and asks if when they give a donation if their money can go to abort a minority, like a little black baby. And what did Planed Parenthood say...Of corse!!!
Here are some links that you should look up. They are something else.

www.ortl.org www.Live Action.org www.lifesitenews.com

www.bornalivetruth.org

and then google Michael Clancy The picture that rocked the world

But mostly pray for the unborn babies, that might never get a chance to live

the funest thing

I just watched the short flim on Wall-E. It was soooooooo funny. I just about busted a gut watching it. I think it's the best on pixar has done. It was great! If you want a laugh, just watch it.

Justin's birthday partty

I threw justin a 30th b-day partty yesterday, and it went great! We ate, drank, and played games. It was a lot of fun, and I was glad to give his a partty.

sleepless nights...

Helen had her first ear infection this week. Lets just say it was not fun!!! The first night she was up ever 2 hours, and then awake from 3:30am to 6:00am. The next night she was awake from 3:00am to 6:00am again. The last night she slept with us, and was crying in her sleep all night long. We took her to the Dr. yesterday, because she was running a 103 dreg. feaver. It looks like she's on her way to getting better. I hope so.

Wii fit

Justin got himself a wii fit a couple weeks ago and him and I have been woking out on it almost every day. Well...I just did my daily test and I have lost 4.9lbs. I'm sooooo happy. Any way I'm just happy about that!!!

In the 97th percent

Helen had her 9 month check up this moring. She is 33" long and 21lb and 5oz. She's in the 97th percent. Just a check up on her.

The cowboys who taught me

These are some pictures that I took last spring, and thought that they are really good. I can't wait to get them printed off and find some frames and hang them on the wall!!!

I did it!!!

I did it...I got my living room clean!!! And my closet clean!!! I couldn't believe that I got those things done without being interrupted. God must have known that I needed some order in my life. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I got some stuff done that I was wanting to get done. Lets see if I can get the baby clothes put in the rubbermaids this weekend:)

Geeting things done...

I feel that I can't get anything done with my child on the lose. I have so much stuff that needs to get done, but I don't have time to do. Like putting all of her to small clothes into rubber mades, and put them out in the garage. But every time I am free to do it she's napping, and the clothes are in her room. Same goes with my dishes. I'll get maybe the plats washed and then she'll start screaming. It doesn't help that Justin works the whole week. I haven't had a scrubbing day for weeks!!!!!!!!

The weekend

The weekend went okay, I took avice from a friend to "let things go". I kept my mouth shut and I think that's the best route to take from now" on. It's hard, because Justin's mom isn't a christian, and is very clear that she doesn't think any kind of religion is a good thing. She groups christians in with the "good white kkk "christian" ". Anyway, I don't understand how to be a good witness to someone who "dose one good deed a day". It just reminded me that there is a missing link between our real blood familys and our real familys in Christ. The weekend was good, the only bummer was I got sick the day we had to leave, and was throwing up, and feeling that my guts were being riped out of my body. Now I'm trying to get Helen back to sleeping good again.

I need prayer!!!!

Justin and I are going over to Portland/Albany this weekend to see family. I get along with his dad's side of the family fine, but his mom and sister. I feel at a lost. I have no idea what to say a round them. When I do talk I feel that I just stuck both feet in my mouth. And then when I just sit and listen, it's like I'm the wife who thinks better then everyone, and dosen't ever say any thing. I need lots of prayer this weekend. please

Justin is working to night, so that means just Helen and I are home. I hate being home alone. Hate it, Hate it, Hate it!!!!!!!!! I get so jumppy it's not funny. Anyway...Tonight is the night that Helen will sleep all night in her crib. Lately we have been bringing her into bed with us when she wakes up in the middle of the night. But no more. I have had it!!!!! It's going to be a long night,but she will sleep in her own bed. Shen has gone to bed three nights in a row without crying witch is great. I'm hoping that she'll keep that up.

Soup's on

Our church started a food bank/soup kitchen, and the first night was last night. Justin had to work, so Helen and I went and helped out. It was really neat. The people could come in and get their food and also come and get soup, bread, vegies, and cookies if they wanted too. At first it was hard on me not to judge and look down on these people, but then it hit me. They are just peolpe that are trying to make it in life and they need to be shown God love just like everybody else. After I relzied that I was able to talk to them and really care about what they were saying. There were a few moms there with their babies, so that was neat, and helpful for common ground to chat about. All in all it was a really neat night.